Too many of our dreams are imprisoned in 'la la land' or fantasy land. We fail to achieve these dreams because we like the fantasy of having achieved them more than we like the reality of actually achieving them.
We talk the talk but fail to walk the walk. We sit butt rather than kick butt. We are frozen by our lack of belief in our own ability instead of moving forwards step by step towards our goals.
In the reality TV show 'Get Your Act Together', Harvey Goldsmith, the impresario, attempted to revive the singing career of Samantha Mumba.
His goal was to achieve a record deal for her within six months. Key lessons can be learned from his work with her about how to reach our own goals.
Samantha Mumba achieved six hit singles and a platinum album before she was nineteen but then her music career nose dived when her second album was dropped by her record company.
She also started an acting career in Spielberg's 'The Time Machine' and appeared in several other films but none of them were as successful as 'The Time Machine'.
Five years from her last hit album, she asked Harvey Goldsmith for help in reviving her singing career. Harvey respected her talent but was not sure about her character:
"A very interesting artist - she could be as big as a Beyonce or a Nelly Furtado but I've heard she can be a bit of a diva. If she is going to succeed, she's got to have real grit and determination. This is a tough business. It doesn't have any room for the weak."
He met Samantha in Dublin where she was successfully modelling lingerie but not singing or writing songs.
He wanted to find out if she really wanted the record deal or not. Desire is crucial for success. He wanted to know if she was capable of focussing on her music to the exclusion of anything else.
Focus would be the issue if she wanted a record deal. Reasonable time management would be another one. The only thing Harvey asks failing acts in return for his help is: "Don't waste my time!"
But he had to wait for two and a half hours to speak to her. Eventually, he was able to ask if she was capable of focussing solely on her music. She promised that she was:
"He got me excited and I love a challenge. I think this is going to be very, very interesting. I love him; I think he's great."
Being excited about a challenging goal is a necessary first step but without follow through the excitement will soon fade.
He had asked her to set up a small live gig for him to hear her sing. But the follow through was disappointing.
In October 2006, Harvey arrived in Los Angeles. He had no illusions about the city:
"Los Angeles isn't called 'la la land' for nothing. There is a lot of BS that goes on here."
Los Angeles is not alone in this. You could call much of this planet - 'la la land'. People have great goals and dreams which they are excited about but they do not do enough to achieve them. Such people live and die in fantasy land.
Harvey found Samantha in LA and in 'la la land'. He was not happy with her progress:
"What would disappoint me most is if nothing had happened since we left. The problem is nothing has happened. I've flown 6000 miles to LA to see Samantha perform. I've just arrived and Ray, her manager, has told me that she isn't performing."
Harvey was furious as well as disappointed:
"I'm angry that I've flown all this way without her telling me. If she wants to succeed in music, she had better start listening or I'm off."
A meeting was arranged and Harvey was left waiting. He was told that Samantha had gone to an acting class. She arrived three and a half hours late for the meeting.
Samantha put her failure to put on a live show for him down to a lack of money: "If you have 25 grand, I will put on a show."
Harvey put her failure down to the fact that life was too easy and comfortable for her:
"You need a bit of pressure in your life. The best things always come out of a pressure cooker but you have what appears to me a fantastic situation. To me, that doesn't sound like great music."
Samantha disagreed:
"Hang on a second. You don't think I've had any setbacks? Any knock backs? Do you think I just decided to pack a suitcase and move my family to another country?"
Harvey returned to his theme of focus:
"You can't do everything at once. You just can't. You have to make some really hard decisions. Do you feel strongly enough that you want to make this happen?"
"I will make it happen."
"Well, that's good!"
However, Samantha was still talking the talk but not walking the walk:
"This woman is doing my head in. She says the right things and then behaves like she did last night. I don't really understand what planet she is on."
Samantha blamed Harvey for a lack of understanding. She felt that he should understand that rock stars are not great timekeepers and that he should realise that she, like many women, was able to multi-task:
"Because men aren't very good multi-taskers, he finds it hard to think that I can do an audition and still be focussed on music. Frankly that boils down to being a man."
However, Harvey still demanded focus and truth from her:
"I have to get her thinking, feeling, eating, sleeping and breathing music. In show business it is important that you surround yourself with people who will give it to you straight. Because if there is any BS around, we'll get nowhere."
Harvey heard Samantha sing with her recording group and was impressed:
"That's got great potential."
But Harvey was not impressed with the fact that she and her recording group had only recorded seven songs in ten months.
The Beatles recorded their entire first album in one day. Mumba time runs slower. She was clearly not prioritizing her music
Harvey wanted her to up her work rate. He told her to get seven or eight tracks done in the next two weeks rather than the next ten months. He sweetened his demands with the promise that:
"In six months you can start thinking about movies."
"I'll give you that," promised Samantha.
Setting a limit to a time of focus is good psychology. Most people can give up their favourite activities for a limited time but not for ever.
"I look forward to seeing you in London," said Harvey but he still had reservations:
"She can only find eight days in eight months to record? I find that really weird. She has some kind of psychological problem. She is a fabulous singer but she needs a kick up the backside."
Harvey had not given up hope: "I am going to make this work I am going to make this girl a star."
To Harvey's surprise, Samantha arrived in London with eight tracks for him to listen to. He then introduced her to three possible UK managers:
"Discuss your vision and time frame with them and I hope its London time and not 'la la time'."
However, she left London without a manager. Harvey analyzed the reasons for Samantha's past failures:
"I think Samantha has a fear of failure and because of that she is reticent to go that extra mile to try and make it work so I want to test her out live in Dublin and then do a showcase in London before the whole record industry."
But Samantha wanted a sponsorship of about £25,000 to put on the Dublin show. Harvey was not impressed.
"The problem with Samantha is she is very used to everybody doing everything and she just has to turn up. If all she wants is for everybody else to do everything for her, she won't last five minutes in this business and it certainly won't be with me."
Eventually, Harvey put up £15,000 of his money and took a risk:
"If the Dublin show goes well there is a chance I can recoup some of my investment."
Samantha was fired up and excited by the idea of performing live in Dublin and London and started practising her dance moves
But tickets did not shift in Dublin. After four days, they had sold only 21 tickets out of 1400. Harvey and his Irish promoter tried to pull the show quietly but Samantha ignored Harvey's advice.
She dashed to Dublin to do some PR. But three weeks later there were still no more sales and she had to pull the show. Her PR blitz had become a PR disaster. The number one rule in show business is not to publicise a failure.
Harvey flew to LA to hear her practise with her band but she was under rehearsed and reluctant to perform in front of him. After half an hour she called it a day.
He took her to dinner and told her to take control. The poor rehearsal had been a wake up call for Samantha. She decided to take things seriously and Harvey felt they had bonded after five long months.
Samantha reflected on her poor performance:
"Because I've been dreading the show case, I've been brushing it off - like deal with it when it gets here - which is the wrong thing to do."
Harvey arranged a London show case at the Pigalle club - one of London's hottest venues - but he still had doubts. He knew how difficult it is for artists to make comebacks and succeed.
Samantha would have to project some real fire to make a record label want to sign her. Harvey gave her a pep talk before she went on stage:
"You've got to perform. Pick somebody in the audience and perform to them as if you want to make love to them. Other than that, have a wonderful time. It's going to be good. Give it all you've got."
The show began well and Samantha seemed in her element. She gave it her all. One audience member commented:
"I thought that was phenomenal."
Bob Geldoff was impressed: "It was amazing. She's buried her ghost and has come back with a different version of her self."
19 Management that created the Spice Girls were going to call Harvey in the morning:
Harvey was delighted: "All in all, the reaction has been fantastic."
He had a final debrief with Samantha: "I thought it was sensational. Now you've got to kick ass and deliver."
Samantha wanted more: "I'm ready to go again!"
Harvey reflected: "Getting this far has not been an easy ride. It's been a real roller coaster. I think we've ended up as good friends. I think Samantha is going to have some really great success I think she's going to get a deal. At the end of the day, we got there in the end. Big success."
Samantha's comment: "The bitch is back!"
Samantha had, at last, gone the extra mile. She had focussed on her music and rehearsed hard for the London showcase. She had even begun to listen to Harvey and do some at least of what he had said.
She had become excited about her goal and taken enough steps to make it a reality. Her pressure cooker had been the six month deadline and the thought of having to perform in front of a select audience at a prestigious venue.
She had made the effort to get to London and put on a great performance. Her attitude had not been perfect but fortunately for all of us perfection is not required. Samantha achieved her goal in spite of many mistakes and failures along the way.
To sum up the lessons learned:
Set a deadline to put some pressure on yourself. Don't hang about. Focus on one main goal for a time at least. Do what you say you will do. Get excited and follow through.
Engage a great mentor if possible. Kick your own butt, if not. Practise if necessary. Seize any opportunity that comes your way. Don't give up. Forget your mistakes and weaknesses. Go the extra mile.
Even if we can only take small, faltering steps forward, we can still escape from 'la la land' and achieve our dreams.
John Watson is an award winning teacher and 5th degree blackbelt martial arts instructor. He has written several ebooks on motivation and success topics. His most recent book can be found at http://www.motivationtoday.com/how_to_win_the_game_of_life.php
You can also find motivational ebooks by authors like Stuart Goldsmith. Check out <http://www.motivationtoday.com/the_midas_method.php>
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